I'm sorry officer, I didn't realize the roof was on fire. Yes sir, I'll have it looked at immediately.

The nature walk from Hell.

From whatsthedillpickle

You can keep the 30 cents.

From otiose321

When you said you could make your foot touch your head I thought you meant something else.

From ExtraDip

I'd be a lot less offended if it were listed as "hard." I can never remember which way the pointy things go.

From David Young

But what if the desk was actually mahogany?

From alwaystheherooftimerealornotreal

There's no dog in this one--they cut all of Billy Bob Thornton's scenes.

From xxlittlethoughts