"How to spot a redneck DUI."

When you said you could make your foot touch your head I thought you meant something else.

From ExtraDip

There's no dog in this one--they cut all of Billy Bob Thornton's scenes.

From xxlittlethoughts

Even if you could, you'd just get hair on your palms.

From goodatinternet

I'd be a lot less offended if it were listed as "hard." I can never remember which way the pointy things go.

From David Young

Oh, children are sharks. This explains a lot.

From allenizabeth

But what if the desk was actually mahogany?

From alwaystheherooftimerealornotreal