The official market price of a baby is now a wad of cash and a sweet hat.

Yo dawg, I heard you like talking about me.

From absolutelymadness

Searching for inner his inner chillness since his parents "finally got off of his back about graduating."

From tastefullyoffensive

They decided to scrap his art career and sell it for parts.

From caiterhe

If art degree remains valuable for more than four hours, call a doctor immediately.

From caedis

Oh, children are sharks. This explains a lot.

From allenizabeth

But what if the desk was actually mahogany?

From alwaystheherooftimerealornotreal