A couple of months ago my boyfriend wanted to have sex but I was tired, so I closed my legs and said, "You shall not pass." Last night at dinner my hand was moving over his leg and moved to his crotch. He grabbed my wrist and said, "One does not simply walk into Mordor." Touche, David, touche.
Emo dog says: "My life is ruff!"
Like this Picture
Embed
Close
Goth Kids With Santa
They're slowly killing him by sucking all the joy away.
I Heart The Color Blind
Unfortunately he's also color blind, so the joke's on him.
Hooters Girls Don't "Do" Evil
Except for that guy Rick they all dated, he was the worst.
Cute Girl Internet Browsers
"Browser? I hardly even know her--and even if I did, who would be interested in a person who made that joke?"
How Do You Study For Finals
At least his textbook won't suffer water damage. It's still in the plastic wrap.
Cat Photobombs Sexy Pic
The kitty makes this picture suitable for children.
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
