Gaylord

I'd be a lot less offended if it were listed as "hard." I can never remember which way the pointy things go.

From David Young

Sings about "Someone Like You," won't say who "You" is.

From therealscumbagsteve

He had to change his Twitter handle to @reputationdestr0yed.

From King of Pith

Have you ever been hypnotized?

From Hotwir3

But what if the desk was actually mahogany?

From alwaystheherooftimerealornotreal

You can keep the 30 cents.

From otiose321