A couple of months ago my boyfriend wanted to have sex but I was tired, so I closed my legs and said, "You shall not pass." Last night at dinner my hand was moving over his leg and moved to his crotch. He grabbed my wrist and said, "One does not simply walk into Mordor." Touche, David, touche.
This works best if you steal all the lightbulbs in the room after you leave.
This is about the third time we've done this. We put the bottle in different rooms to surprise her. Once her bathroom was filled and she couldn't open the door.
Like this Picture
Embed
Close
Hooters Girls Don't "Do" Evil
Except for that guy Rick they all dated, he was the worst.
The Ideal Woman
Her shirt is actually made of beef jerky.
Old Steve Jobs Reads Biography Of Himself
The transformation is almost complete.
Lindsay Lohan Inspires Kid to Find Himself
Leave that thing a-Lohan.
Goth Kids With Santa
They're slowly killing him by sucking all the joy away.
How Do You Study For Finals
At least his textbook won't suffer water damage. It's still in the plastic wrap.
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
Scarlett Johansson in a bikini -- I'd try to describe it but something would get lost in translation
"mirror... MIRROR!" - The Joker, also this guy.
This guy is #1
The internet is working as intended.
Hot athletic girls working a pole
Put that English degree to work over-analyzing beloved children's entertainment.
A good resource if you base you fantasy football team on great hair.
