"He sat like that all night long. Until the music came on, that is."

He had to change his Twitter handle to @reputationdestr0yed.

From King of Pith

Have you ever been hypnotized?

From Hotwir3

I'd be a lot less offended if it were listed as "hard." I can never remember which way the pointy things go.

From David Young

When you said you could make your foot touch your head I thought you meant something else.

From ExtraDip

Even if you could, you'd just get hair on your palms.

From goodatinternet

As long as she doesn't try to dance, it's wildly attractive.

From oldghost