He'll be treated like a God. "The One Who Almost Kicked a Stop Sign Down" they'll say in whispers.
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Old Steve Jobs Reads Biography Of Himself
The transformation is almost complete.
Dear Person in My Bed
Yours truly, Person That Hates You
Girls Making Out
It's a Christmas miracle!
How Do You Study For Finals
At least his textbook won't suffer water damage. It's still in the plastic wrap.
I Heart The Color Blind
Unfortunately he's also color blind, so the joke's on him.
Little Girl Smash
"Next time don't interrupt my nap, Mom."
Fixed it!
The kind of sports you can expect to see on ESPN17
Oh good, my package came. I've got a big night ahead of me.
And that's why you always leave a note
Siri, what is the temperature... because I just got burned!
Pfft I listened to polka covers of arena rock before it was cool
Forever a zone
The other side of Adele's story
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
