A couple of months ago my boyfriend wanted to have sex but I was tired, so I closed my legs and said, "You shall not pass." Last night at dinner my hand was moving over his leg and moved to his crotch. He grabbed my wrist and said, "One does not simply walk into Mordor." Touche, David, touche.
"Have you ever seen the map of child predators in your area? Apparently we were standing on a landmark."
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Couple Takes Bathroom Mirror Pic
They have an "open that door--you better not be doing what I think you are in there" relationship.
Cute Girl With Armpit Shark Tattoo
I don't blame her. I blame her brain.
The Ideal Woman
Her shirt is actually made of beef jerky.
Old Steve Jobs Reads Biography Of Himself
The transformation is almost complete.
Cute Girl Internet Browsers
"Browser? I hardly even know her--and even if I did, who would be interested in a person who made that joke?"
Insanely Flexible Pool Player
Using the bridge just seemed too easy.
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
