One of them left with a bite mark; the other, with an STD.

If art degree remains valuable for more than four hours, call a doctor immediately.

From caedis

1 Person Strong for a Dislike Button That Inexplicably Transforms into Someone That Wants to Hang Out When I Click on It.

But what if the desk was actually mahogany?

From alwaystheherooftimerealornotreal

The nature walk from Hell.

From whatsthedillpickle

I like to imagine he's singing.

From bassman109

When you said you could make your foot touch your head I thought you meant something else.

From ExtraDip