"What redneck wouldn't want to show up at a Hooters in a NASCAR limo for their birthday?"
You might be a redneck... if you have Nascar topiary in your yard.
You may be able to outrun him, but you definitely can't outsegway him.
If you watch the video, you'll die eventually. She's a sloth so, you know, it may take a while.
How do you know you're a redneck? You take your riding mower to the liquor store.
You might be a redneck if....