That guy's pissed.

As long as she doesn't try to dance, it's wildly attractive.

From oldghost

Even if you could, you'd just get hair on your palms.

From goodatinternet

But what if the desk was actually mahogany?

From alwaystheherooftimerealornotreal

I'd be a lot less offended if it were listed as "hard." I can never remember which way the pointy things go.

From David Young

Searching for inner his inner chillness since his parents "finally got off of his back about graduating."

From tastefullyoffensive

He has her tweeting out of the palm of his hand.

From Food Network Humor