This is what he gets for betting on the Cardinals. A lifetime of humiliation.

I just joined a natural products company as a sales representative and am really excited about it. The other day I was on a plane next to a really nice old couple. After a few minutes of small talk, they mentioned that they both had bad arthritis. I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to tell them about our products. I gave a 10 minute talk about how our products... Read More » could improve their daily life. They listened intently and then ended by saying they would not need it because God would tell them when to die. Turns out they were Jehovah's Witnesses, who spent the rest of the plane ride concerned about my immortal soul.

February 13, 2012