"Dude, you will be blown away by my new tat!"

Well, yes and no--mostly shut up.

From memewhore

There's no dog in this one--they cut all of Billy Bob Thornton's scenes.

From xxlittlethoughts

You don't have to answer, your smile says it all.

But what if the desk was actually mahogany?

From alwaystheherooftimerealornotreal

I'd be a lot less offended if it were listed as "hard." I can never remember which way the pointy things go.

From David Young

It is, however, a great way to remove yourself as someone's friend.