Picture "Right in front of the White House last weekend a bike cop had this little run in with a squirl, I named him Timmy"
Picture "My roommate and I were cooking supper when we heard a loud crash like a baseball hit our window. We went to investigate and found this on our living room window. Stupid pigeon!"
Picture "Somehow a squirrel got into our third floor room at LMU. We game him a cornnut, but that just pissed him off."
Picture This newly discovered species, the ubersquirrel, is known to hunt bears with it's laser vision.