warning humming these tunes the next day could result in ass kicking

It is, however, a great way to remove yourself as someone's friend.

But what if the desk was actually mahogany?

From alwaystheherooftimerealornotreal

Have you ever been hypnotized?

From Hotwir3

He had to change his Twitter handle to @reputationdestr0yed.

From King of Pith

Even if you could, you'd just get hair on your palms.

From goodatinternet

I'd be a lot less offended if it were listed as "hard." I can never remember which way the pointy things go.

From David Young