Best Personal Ad Ever

But what if the desk was actually mahogany?

From alwaystheherooftimerealornotreal

Pure sadness, stuffed in a bunny suit, stuffed in a swing.

From Imgur

I'd be a lot less offended if it were listed as "hard." I can never remember which way the pointy things go.

From David Young

I like to imagine he's singing.

From bassman109

Sings about "Someone Like You," won't say who "You" is.

From therealscumbagsteve

Even if you could, you'd just get hair on your palms.

From goodatinternet