Amazingly this is exactly what i was going to search for

Leave that thing a-Lohan.

"Browser? I hardly even know her--and even if I did, who would be interested in a person who made that joke?"

Their third roommate is somehow wearing all the high heels.

"You're a wizard, hairy."

Her professor did that to teach her a lesson.

At least his textbook won't suffer water damage. It's still in the plastic wrap.