A couple of months ago my boyfriend wanted to have sex but I was tired, so I closed my legs and said, "You shall not pass." Last night at dinner my hand was moving over his leg and moved to his crotch. He grabbed my wrist and said, "One does not simply walk into Mordor." Touche, David, touche.
They either stole my idea, or they stole the drugs I was on when I had the idea.
Like this Picture
Embed
Close
What She's Really Dreaming About
Her professor did that to teach her a lesson.
Hooters Girls Don't "Do" Evil
Except for that guy Rick they all dated, he was the worst.
Goth Kids With Santa
They're slowly killing him by sucking all the joy away.
How Do You Study For Finals
At least his textbook won't suffer water damage. It's still in the plastic wrap.
Woman Uses Butt to Grip Subway Pole
You should see how she hails a cab.
Nudity Is Required In All Pools
This family trip is about to get awkward.



Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.