"My buddies decided to give me a little 'message' regarding my girlfriend."
Bring this sledgehammer back to the car, but bring me back my scissors.
"I did this cause my Art professor is a bitch and she pisses me off."
You know what, let me finish the whiskey, then give it back to him.
"Where's my oil change, bitch?"
Give me an S! Give me an I! Give me umm.... 7?