A couple of months ago my boyfriend wanted to have sex but I was tired, so I closed my legs and said, "You shall not pass." Last night at dinner my hand was moving over his leg and moved to his crotch. He grabbed my wrist and said, "One does not simply walk into Mordor." Touche, David, touche.
Jesus is really cool like that. I once saw him stay at a Barnes and Noble for 3 days longer then he was scheduled just to make sure all his fans left happy.
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What She's Really Dreaming About
Her professor did that to teach her a lesson.
Goth Kids With Santa
They're slowly killing him by sucking all the joy away.
Little Girl Worried About Mommy
Dad used to be so fun. Apparently Mom still thinks he is.
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"You're a wizard, hairy."
Girls Making Out
It's a Christmas miracle!
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Real estate prices in the neighborhood just skyrocketed.
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
