Marker fucked

When you said you could make your foot touch your head I thought you meant something else.

From ExtraDip

I'd be a lot less offended if it were listed as "hard." I can never remember which way the pointy things go.

From David Young

Sings about "Someone Like You," won't say who "You" is.

From therealscumbagsteve

It is, however, a great way to remove yourself as someone's friend.

But what if the desk was actually mahogany?

From alwaystheherooftimerealornotreal

Run, Shadowfax! Show us the meaning of haste!

From wastetheday