Duct tape has a thousand uses, but 900 of them involve suspending someone from the ceiling.

The other day, I was showing my mother some pictures on my laptop. Now, I like to use a wireless mouse with my notebook because the touchpad drives me nuts sometimes. As I shifted through the photos with the mouse on my knee, my mother apparently couldn't put two and two together and she asked how I was working the laptop without touching it. I told her it was mind-control.

February 14, 2012