The only penalty here is that more men aren't Green Men.
"This is a note to the cafeteria that got replied to in all seriousness at USC."
It is widely known that corn turns men on faster than any other Mesoamerican cereal grain. Right?
Tur-duck-en is for girly men.
Science, ladies. It's for science.
"Is it weird that I'm more attracted to the cartoon versions?"