"We told them that our car was broken and it only went in reverse. I'm pretty sure they spit in all our double cheeseburgers."

They're the two most popular girls in school.

"Gretchen, NO!"

Looks like she's found a new workout for weight loss.

Her professor did that to teach her a lesson.

Unfortunately he's also color blind, so the joke's on him.

"Browser? I hardly even know her--and even if I did, who would be interested in a person who made that joke?"