Picture Yes I have a girlfriend but we agreed to be open, but only on Thursdays. No, really. See? We made up shirts.
Picture The RA met me at the bottom, but I challenged him to find something in the student handbook that forbids rappelling out of your fourth story window.
Picture "The instructor pilot was having an affair with a female student. Her husband found out, and calmly reacted by destroying his airplane with a chainsaw." Alternate theory: a propeller did it. That's why the spacing is so even.
Picture "You know you go to a party school if beer bottle openers are included in your dorm room door."