Things have been tough on Hermione after graduation.
"Dude, she's got the sexiest chin hair you've EVER seen."
It's actually just a description of what it does to your digestive tract.
"Never let a drunk man cut your hair," was the best advice my father ever gave me.
That's it, this guy wins the award for best name in the world.
They also own a massage parlor called Rub One Out