"This is me winning a local radio contest. That is an air conditioner being lifted by my ear lobes"

Except for that guy Rick they all dated, he was the worst.

"You're a wizard, hairy."

At least his textbook won't suffer water damage. It's still in the plastic wrap.

Just like in that dream her creepy classmate always has.

Her shirt is actually made of beef jerky.

They have an "open that door--you better not be doing what I think you are in there" relationship.