"This guy from my home town knew that a car crash was in his future."

I'd be a lot less offended if it were listed as "hard." I can never remember which way the pointy things go.

From David Young

He has her tweeting out of the palm of his hand.

From Food Network Humor

Well, yes and no--mostly shut up.

From memewhore

Yo dawg, I heard you like talking about me.

From absolutelymadness

Searching for inner his inner chillness since his parents "finally got off of his back about graduating."

From tastefullyoffensive

I like to imagine he's singing.

From bassman109