A couple of months ago my boyfriend wanted to have sex but I was tired, so I closed my legs and said, "You shall not pass." Last night at dinner my hand was moving over his leg and moved to his crotch. He grabbed my wrist and said, "One does not simply walk into Mordor." Touche, David, touche.
Yeah bro, THIS is why we went on vacation.
Like this Picture
Embed
Close
Facebook Abortion
Looks like she's found a new workout for weight loss.
I Heart The Color Blind
Unfortunately he's also color blind, so the joke's on him.
Girls Making Out
It's a Christmas miracle!
Epic Nerd Photobombs Hot Girl
She hasn't been seen since.
Nipple Wizard
"You're a wizard, hairy."
What She's Really Dreaming About
Her professor did that to teach her a lesson.



Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.