Picture "Unless he can defy gravity, our roomate might have a little trouble sleeping on his bed when he comes back"
Picture "This guy got wasted, came back to the apartment, got tea bagged and smiled during it, and burned noodles and grilled cheese. He passed out and left a hot girl in his bed - she wrote all of that on him."
Picture "My buddy thought it would be funny to hit a can of red spray paint with a claw-hammer." Looks like he was right.
Picture I'd like to imagine this guy waking up, looking at the good side of his face and thinking everything is going to be AOK.