"I tricked out the mail cart at work, boss hated it."

But what if the desk was actually mahogany?

From alwaystheherooftimerealornotreal

Her net is just nerdy guys who have accepted the fact that being fallen on is the only way they'll ever make contact.

From fotodahora

Oh, children are sharks. This explains a lot.

From allenizabeth

Even if you could, you'd just get hair on your palms.

From goodatinternet

He had to change his Twitter handle to @reputationdestr0yed.

From King of Pith

You know, in the time it took you to draw this, you could have taken out the trash.

From Percipere