Sometimes I wonder if there is life in other parts of the universe. Then I stop wondering and resume looking at the girls making out on this planet.

As long as she doesn't try to dance, it's wildly attractive.

From oldghost

Sings about "Someone Like You," won't say who "You" is.

From therealscumbagsteve

Even if you could, you'd just get hair on your palms.

From goodatinternet

But what if the desk was actually mahogany?

From alwaystheherooftimerealornotreal

Well, yes and no--mostly shut up.

From memewhore

He had to change his Twitter handle to @reputationdestr0yed.

From King of Pith