"I found this sign in a back alley when i was delivering flowers. Of course, I came back later and stole it."

Her professor did that to teach her a lesson.

They have an "open that door--you better not be doing what I think you are in there" relationship.

"Next time don't interrupt my nap, Mom."

Unfortunately he's also color blind, so the joke's on him.

Leave that thing a-Lohan.

Her shirt is actually made of beef jerky.