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I'm working at a Mercedes Benz dealership this summer and this is an actual complaint from the service department
Picture "I came home the other night and found this in my parking spot. The guy is lucky, he landed between a BMW and a Mercedes-Benz. Moral of the story: Drinking + Driving = Fucking Shit Up = FSU"
Picture My complaint: Too many active grenades in office makes for an unproductive/terrifying workplace environment.