I was having sex with my girlfriend with the movie gladiator playing quietly in the background. She finished right before the epic scene which prompted me to raise my arms and yell "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?"
"How could this possibly pose a threat to the sanctity of ANYTHING?!"
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Dear Person in My Bed
Yours truly, Person That Hates You
Classy Girls And Icicles
They're the two most popular girls in school.
Math Machine Doodle
How do you show your work?
Girls Dress In All The Underwear
Their third roommate is somehow wearing all the high heels.
You're Using The Toilet Brush Wrong
It makes a great back scratcher though.
Insanely Flexible Pool Player
Using the bridge just seemed too easy.
Fixed it!
The kind of sports you can expect to see on ESPN17
Oh good, my package came. I've got a big night ahead of me.
And that's why you always leave a note
Siri, what is the temperature... because I just got burned!
Pfft I listened to polka covers of arena rock before it was cool
Forever a zone
The other side of Adele's story
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
