Picture "First night of being a freshman. I was walking and skewered my self with a marshmallow stick. Went in two inches and was taken to the hospital to have it removed." Welcome to college.
Picture "This is what happens when a freshman passes out at a beach party." If he does something like this within days of arrival, imagine what the next four years have in store for him.
Picture "This is what happens when you and your dorm mates drink, get bored, and decide to prove to everyone their supperiority over other students. Keystone anyone?"