"We were very low that night so we engineered a little somthing we got from an army supply store. It worked wonders."

You can keep the 30 cents.

From otiose321

She gets her pants from the same place as The Incredible Hulk. Nothing can burst through these things.

From bowhunter6274

When you said you could make your foot touch your head I thought you meant something else.

From ExtraDip

He had to change his Twitter handle to @reputationdestr0yed.

From King of Pith

If art degree remains valuable for more than four hours, call a doctor immediately.

From caedis

Even if you could, you'd just get hair on your palms.

From goodatinternet