Topping the charts..... er shelf.

You can keep the 30 cents.

From otiose321

Even if you could, you'd just get hair on your palms.

From goodatinternet

It is, however, a great way to remove yourself as someone's friend.

If art degree remains valuable for more than four hours, call a doctor immediately.

From caedis

There's no dog in this one--they cut all of Billy Bob Thornton's scenes.

From xxlittlethoughts

He had to change his Twitter handle to @reputationdestr0yed.

From King of Pith