Aw, they're fighting like an old married couple. How cute.

If art degree remains valuable for more than four hours, call a doctor immediately.

From caedis

Even if you could, you'd just get hair on your palms.

From goodatinternet

But what if the desk was actually mahogany?

From alwaystheherooftimerealornotreal

Searching for inner his inner chillness since his parents "finally got off of his back about graduating."

From tastefullyoffensive

You can keep the 30 cents.

From otiose321

Have you ever been hypnotized?

From Hotwir3