Alan and Carlos

There's no dog in this one--they cut all of Billy Bob Thornton's scenes.

From xxlittlethoughts

If art degree remains valuable for more than four hours, call a doctor immediately.

From caedis

He had to change his Twitter handle to @reputationdestr0yed.

From King of Pith

I'd be a lot less offended if it were listed as "hard." I can never remember which way the pointy things go.

From David Young

Searching for inner his inner chillness since his parents "finally got off of his back about graduating."

From tastefullyoffensive

She gets her pants from the same place as The Incredible Hulk. Nothing can burst through these things.

From bowhunter6274