Picture "My friend was so drunk he fell in the lake while attempting to shoot a bottle rocket, so we thougth it would be a good idea to make him launch it out of his mouth while his face was under water. His body was under but his face wasn't."
Picture "The foreign exchange student across the hall didn't understand the concept of knocking, so we gave him a lesson." (I hope this was his knob that you pube'd, otherwise, it just wouldn't make sense.)
Picture His frat brothers ambushed him, tied him up, bought 5 parakeets and bird seed. He was screaming, "They're biting me" as he was being pecked by the birds.