It's ironic that I drink coffee to be productive, but end up spending an hour pooping 10 minutes later.
Successful Relationship Pie Chart
You wouldn't know anything about this, would you, single people who don't know what graphs are.
Offensive Draw Something Word
I'd be a lot less offended if it were listed as "hard." I can never remember which way the pointy things go.
Angelina Jolie Presents: The Leg
There's no dog in this one--they cut all of Billy Bob Thornton's scenes.
Forever Alone Facebook Comments
1 Person Strong for a Dislike Button That Inexplicably Transforms into Someone That Wants to Hang Out When I Click on It.
Babe is Terribly Good at Rock Climbing
Her net is just nerdy guys who have accepted the fact that being fallen on is the only way they'll ever make contact.
Scumbag Adele
Sings about "Someone Like You," won't say who "You" is.
C--- Destroyer is Actually a Sweet Guy
He had to change his Twitter handle to @reputationdestr0yed.



"You'll be part of me forever. Or, for the next 12 to 24 hours."
How to live in a tiny apartment, step one: buy a shrink ray gun that works on humans.
You can't spell "fun" without "terrifying." Oh, you can? I've been spelling it real incorrectly.
There hasn't been a disaster this cute since the Great Pomeranian Tsunami of '03.
Wrestling has so much drama, it's a wonder it's COMPLETELY REAL AND NOT AT ALL SCRIPTED.
If you can't stand the fire alarm, get out of the kitchen. And go on the Internet.
From the director who brought you Wall-Alien.
Hey, you just got here, and this is crazy. But here's some covers, so watch them, maybe.
It's like seeing a whole bunch of twins where one of them is slightly less attractive.
It's like seeing a whole bunch of twins where one of them is slightly less attractive.