"How many times do I have to tell you not to frighten your mother like that" - fathers everywhere
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He doesn't always paint the squash like people and hold "family reunions," but when he does it's for attention.
I don't always ride in a bike basket, but when I do, bitches bark.
His organ donor card also lists his beard.
Or obnoxious, depending on how many Dos Equis you've had.