Don't cry, Forever Alone, you've got a great pair.
You're never truly alone when you have people to be repulsed by.
Sorry, Forever Alone Guy, she's not interested.
If they don't get more towels soon, the sobbing will become audible.
He was doing just fine before you adopted him and changed his name to Paw Rudd.
Even if you could, you'd just get hair on your palms.