Moose! Bitch, get out the way.
"A fire-breathing dragon isn't going to make my coffee any hotter." - worst customer ever
"The best part of waking up, is searing hot coffee grains exploding at your face." - Folger's new slogan
This coffee sucks.
"Ever wonder how the vending machine coffee is made?"
"I work at a coffee shop, and an unbearable douchebag came in."