He took off with the Curel and the Maxim right after his second one...

Real estate prices in the neighborhood just skyrocketed.

Her shirt is actually made of beef jerky.

"Next time don't interrupt my nap, Mom."

Unfortunately he's also color blind, so the joke's on him.

"Browser? I hardly even know her--and even if I did, who would be interested in a person who made that joke?"

At least his textbook won't suffer water damage. It's still in the plastic wrap.