"I pity the mutt!"

You know, in the time it took you to draw this, you could have taken out the trash.

From Percipere

I'd be a lot less offended if it were listed as "hard." I can never remember which way the pointy things go.

From David Young

As long as she doesn't try to dance, it's wildly attractive.

From oldghost

Sings about "Someone Like You," won't say who "You" is.

From therealscumbagsteve

They decided to scrap his art career and sell it for parts.

From caiterhe

He has her tweeting out of the palm of his hand.

From Food Network Humor