I was having sex with my girlfriend with the movie gladiator playing quietly in the background. She finished right before the epic scene which prompted me to raise my arms and yell "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?"
You haven't been cheating? Then how do you explain this bottle cap I found in your pocket when I was doing laundry?
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Lindsay Lohan Inspires Kid to Find Himself
Leave that thing a-Lohan.
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They're the two most popular girls in school.
Hot Girl Does Math in Her Underpants
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Except for that guy Rick they all dated, he was the worst.
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Fixed it!
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Oh good, my package came. I've got a big night ahead of me.
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Siri, what is the temperature... because I just got burned!
Pfft I listened to polka covers of arena rock before it was cool
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Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
