One roommate is in the doghouse for wearing tighty whities(thats not him sitting on the bed)

If art degree remains valuable for more than four hours, call a doctor immediately.

From caedis

Yo dawg, I heard you like talking about me.

From absolutelymadness

You don't have to answer, your smile says it all.

You know, in the time it took you to draw this, you could have taken out the trash.

From Percipere

He has her tweeting out of the palm of his hand.

From Food Network Humor

Well, yes and no--mostly shut up.

From memewhore